Common Causes of Trauma
in Children:
Loss of a Loved One
The occurrences of their family moving or
parents separating are losses for children, but the most
devastating loss is that of death. Children have fewer skills
to help them adjust to this loss; therefore, they are more
vulnerable. When the death is sudden and unexpected, there
is little time to begin adjusting. If the death is anticipated,
children have time to slowly reshape relationships, making
the loss painful but easier to deal with.
The closer the relationship of the deceased is to the child,
the more intense the loss will be felt. The emotions felt
by the child should not be underestimated. If this is the
case, the effects of the loss will persist.
Dr. Bruce Perry states, “Grieving is
a process that reshapes our inner world following loss.”
There are two challenges for the child. First is the actual
processing of the event, where questions such as “Can
I catch the illness?” could be in the mind of the
child. Second is the actual coping with the loss. The primary
emotion is fear — of the unknown and of the future.
The normal grief process may include these feelings:
